We think that the body is the self because we are deluded by the three poisons ─ craving, anger and ignorance. The three poisons are like addictive drugs. When we are stimulated by them, we experience temporary, illusory satisfaction or excitement. We all know the phrase, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We see beauty in what we love. In fact, beauty is no more than an expression of the mind of craving and attachment. Because you are attached to a person, you perceive him or her as beautiful. When you are in love you are clouded by desire, and your partner becomes the embodiment of your emotions and feelings. Later, if things do not work out and you break up, you may turn to your partner and say, "I didn't know the real you! I was confused."

I have heard that many couples who get married do not know much about each other. As they learn about each other, they become disillusioned, and they often get divorced. They believe that their infatuation has been replaced by stark reality. This is not true. People are as clouded by emotion when they break up as when they fall in love. When people are dissatisfied, things that once pleased them seem distasteful, and things they once thought beautiful seem ugly. These people are still controlled by the three poisons.