Nirvana is motionless, and it is not separate from you. How can you gain it or lose it? After enlightenment, there is nothing to gain or lose. Before enlightenment, however, sentient beings feel they must rid themselves of vexations and gain liberation. When you study Buddhadharma and begin to practice, you become aware of vexation, and you give it a name. People who do not know about Buddha-nature and the Dharma, on the other hand, may live their entire lives in vexation without being aware of it.

Do you think ignorance is bliss? Do you think intelligent people have the most vexation? Perhaps in the entire animal kingdom, human beings know the most suffering. If we base vexation on suffering, then it would seem that lower life forms have less vexation than humans. But vexation is not based on suffering; it is based on ignorance. Among human beings, then, the greater the wisdom ─ not necessarily intelligence ─ the less the vexation.

The more you practice, the more aware you become of vexation. When you practice, it may seem as though you are developing more vexations. You might think the retreat has turned out poorly, or that you are not progressing, but it is only because you have more self-awareness.

If you are in a dark room and a few rays of sun stream through a window, it is possible to see dust motes floating in the air. When the room is dark, however, the dust is invisible, and you might assume the air is pure. Before we practice, we live in a dark room. As we practice, we become aware of vexation by the light of self-awareness.