These experiences were like wandering from the path to look at beautiful flowers or inspiring vistas. At this rate, one might never reach the end of the path. The master told me that if the flames of "Who-am-I?" die down, I must not simply accept this as part of the process but kindle them again with the torch of my own intense determination. The fire must become so vast that everything is consumed.

The talks Master Sheng-Yen gives during retreat are particularly potent for everyone, and convey important personal messages to each practitioner. This does not occur through the ordinary thinking process but, as Shih-fu himself says, is like throwing a ball that one must actually catch with the entire body and mind without knowing what direction this ball is coming from. On the second or third evening of the retreat, Master Sheng-Yen asked who had experienced sadness that day. I did not raise my hand because I had been experiencing simply the torrent of desperate longing for the Truth, interspersed with periods of peace and insight. But Shih-fu's message got through to the deeper layers of my being, because during the meditation period that followed the evening talk, I indeed experienced great sadness.