One evening my meditation got very powerful. I felt a huge flow of energy and bliss, and I was very taken in by it all. I was sure I would make it in the very next meditation period. I sat anxiously through the Master's evening lecture-it went on and on. Even when we entered the meditation hall he kept talking. When was he going to stop and let us sit! As the time approached, the energy and assuredness grew. I sat down as if I was never coming back again, certainly I would have a great enlightenment! I concentrated with all my might; the energy welled up and I could feel it pounding at the top of my skull. I pushed harder and harder, and didn't dare to let go, just waiting and struggling for what must come! Suddenly I just gave out and collapsed, exhausted. The pain was extraordinary. "What a fool, " I thought. "What a self-righteous overblown fool. You are filled with demons and corruption." That night I went to sleep.

The next morning the Master asked me what had happened the previous night, and how late I stayed up meditating. I told him, and he showed absolutely no sympathy. He looked straight at me, right into me, and said, "I told you that sleep was not a concern for you. Who told you to sleep? In China some people forego sleep for ninety days, and you can't do it for even part of a week. Here you get a little experience in meditation (imitating me), Oh, I sit Ch'an! and give up, thinking you've got somehting. It's nothing! You simply have no determination for the Path!"