The depth of the obligation should be the same as for your own self. Children start by knowing nothing. You have to feed children information and knowledge. Actually, it's like food. Some children are picky eaters, taking a little food here, rejecting food there. Others will eat whatever you put in front of them. The same is true with teaching. Feel your children out. Give as much as they are willing to take, but don't force feed them.

STUDENT:

I was raised as a Catholic, and part of my upbringing included saying the rosary several times a day, reciting prayers, reading stories about God and Jesus. As a Buddhist parent, would I want my child to learn the Buddhist equivalent, like chanting, prostrating, and so on? Also, should I make my children meditate?

SHIH-FU:

The fewer the formalities the better. In the Orient, many parents try to get the whole family doing that sort of thing ─ waking up early, lighting incense and prostrating, repeating the process before meals, before leaving the house or going to bed. It can get out of hand. It's more involved than the Catholic religion.

Emphasize maintaining a Buddhist spirit throughout daily life. Formalities are not that important. It's better to instill in children a sense of compassion. Constantly educate them in this matter. For example, when they see a small animal, they shouldn't be cruel to it. They should try to help all living things. You should tell them that this is compassion.

You should also teach them not to be wasteful. Tell them that whatever we have comes from our previous karma. If we are wasteful, then we are squandering our previously accumulated merit. As parents, you should not be wasteful, and you should pass on this trait to your children. Food that can't be finished can feed others.