One of the members of the Center has cut down on her practice because of her children, but is it because of the children? In her case, it has to do with the way she arranges her time and priorities. She spends much of her time working, earning extra money so that the children will be able to go to college. In the meantime, she has to hire baby sitters to take care of the children while she works, so the children aren't interfering.

STUDENT:

But if the parents don't work so that they can practice, and then they discover that their children can't go to college, is this right?

SHIH-FU:

When you have children, how much do you have to do in order to fulfill your responsibilities to them? It depends on you and the situation. You may be limited by your capabilities and your resources. If you are poor, you may not be able to send your children to an expensive college, or any college. In the case above, the mother wants certain things for her children and she is working for them. She cannot practice as much. That is the reality of the situation. It is her choice, her karma.

However, there is another member of the Center who has a child, and she is doing quite well with the practice. She sits every day, she contributes a great deal and she attends nearly every retreat. She is still able to set aside the time. That is her choice and her situation.

Another point. Householders should have children, because if they do not, especially after a few years of marriage, it will be quite difficult for them to have a happy relationship.

STUDENT:

Why?