I would not say it that way, because if that were the case, then people might consider themselves beginning practitioners throughout their lives, and they'll never have kids. Realize that the main function of having children is to strengthen the tie of the marriage and family. If there are no difficulties whatsoever in a marriage, if a couple is progressing in a happy, productive relationship, then not to have children is fine. And, if it seems that the relationship is starting to drag, well, then it is easy to remedy the situation. Have a kid. In the U.S., people might think differently, but in Taiwan, when couples seek my advice concerning marital difficulties, most of the time I tell them to bear a child; and, most of the time, the problem is solved. This is true when the problems are superficial in nature. However, when there are fundamental problems within the marriage, I would not advise them to have children. That is a different situation.

STUDENT:

So, you are saying that the main function of having children is to strengthen the tie of the marriage. Then it's not that you feel that the expecting parent owes the sentient being who is about to be born some responsibility?

SHIH-FU:

In a general sense you have responsibility for all sentient beings in the world. In a specific sense, if you do not want to have children at the present time, but feel that you owe something to the sentient being who might be born in your body some day, do not have the child. Pay him or her back later.

STUDENT:

Going back to your comment about having children to resolve marital problems. What do you mean by fundamental or superficial problems? In my mind, having a child to resolve a marital problem would be the worst possible reason to have a family. It is unfair to the child?