SHIH-FU:
Do not think of having children as a means of solving the problems of a marriage. It's that when you have children, your enhanced responsibilities will naturally help to strengthen the tie of the marriage. In this case, the children are helping out. On the other hand, if a couple accepts the responsibility of having a child, they are also helping the child. Do not view this as the utility of a child in a selfish mode.
A couple who quarreled a lot had a child. I asked them how things were going. The husband said, "Things have changed. Previously we argued all the time. Now the kid keeps our hands filled with his own difficulties, so we have no time or energy left over for our own arguments." So, if you want to calm your marital relationship, having a child may be a wise choice. He or she will take all your energy.
STUDENT:
You mentioned energy. In Carlos Casteneda's books about the teachings of Don Juan, Don Juan advised his followers, both men and women, to avoid having children if they wanted to be on the warrior path. When a child is born, it takes away a lot of the life energy from the parents, making them weaker. He said that if you want to maintain personal power, then do not have children. What is your opinion?
SHIH-FU:
Ch'an does not believe or recognize such ideas. Sure a child takes away energy from the parents, but in a natural way. The child is growing, and demands attention and care. Devoting such time and energy drains you.